by Haven Logan PH.D

 

Remember the children’s book The Little Engine That Could? The small train makes it over the mountain by continuously repeating to himself, “I think I can, I think I can”? Perhaps you’ve wondered what goes on in the mind of a mountain climber as they cling to a sheer precipice. They must be thinking “I can do this” or they would be paralyzed by fear.  Throughout human history the concept that our thoughts affect our emotions and, consequently, what we are capable of doing, has been a part of literature, religion, popular culture, and, most recently, cognitive therapy.

When dealing with the troubling emotions of anger, hurt, anxiety, and depression it is often hard to recognize our thoughts in the process. These feelings sweep so strongly over us that logical thought is often left in the dust. Despite this, some people manage to keep a positive outlook even in the most distressing of times. There are others of us who tend to see life through a negative filter which may derive from the temperament we were born with or the messages with which we grew up. It could also be due to depression, which causes one to look at everything from a pessimistic viewpoint.

I spent much of my early life in the pessimistic camp. Losing my mother at a young age to breast cancer, I learned to expect that bad things might happen to me. Later I joined many of my contemporaries in the attitude that looking at things darkly meant you were a deeper and more politically correct person.

Finally, in the 1970’s, I began to learn about spiritual traditions and cognitive therapy that teach you can choose your thoughts and in doing so affect your emotions. Even if you were born with or grew up having a pessimistic disposition, you can learn to be more optimistic.

How to Turn Pessimism into Optimism

To see how thoughts affect your emotions imagine this situation:   A friend you haven’t seen for a while walks past you without acknowledging you.  Your first thought might be: “She didn’t even say hello. She must be angry with me.” Or you might think: “She didn’t see me. She must have been preoccupied with something.” Notice the different feelings that come up in response to the first and second thoughts. Thought # 1 might create hurt or angry feelings that stay with you and interfere with that relationship. Thought # 2 would probably create a mild feeling of curiosity that you would soon forget. Unless you decide to call your friend, you won’t know which, if either, of these thoughts is true.

So let’s look at how cognitive therapy teaches examining your negative thoughts and replacing them with thoughts that lead to more positive emotions. I am not suggesting that you ignore the very real problems of your life and the world around you. On the contrary, examining your automatic negative thoughts can help you look at situations more rationally rather than reactively. This, in turn, will enable you to make better choices in handling life’s challenges.

One of the founders of cognitive therapy is David Burns, MD. His books Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy and The Feeling Good Handbook have given thousands of people practical guidelines for dealing with depression, anxiety, and a variety of other life issues. He uses a technique called the “The Daily Mood Log” which I have found to be a valuable tool.

To try out his approach, take a piece of paper, and answer the directions below:
Step # 1: Describe an upsetting event.
Think of something that has happened recently that was upsetting to you.
Step # 2: Write down the feelings you had about this event.
Step # 3: Write down your automatic negative thoughts.
These are the thoughts that just pop into your head. Some times you are barely conscious of them. In the example above the automatic negative thought was “She didn’t even say hello. She must be angry with me.” You might also have had other negative thoughts such as “I always did think she was a snob” or “Nobody likes me.”
Step # 4: Identify how each automatic negative thought is a thinking distortion.
While there might be some truth to the thought, it is not the whole truth. The first thought “She must be angry with me” could be described as emotional reasoning where you reason from how you feel. The second thought “I always did think she was a snob” reflects all-or-nothing thinking where you look at things in absolute, black-and-white categories. The third thought could be labeled magnification which is blowing things up out of proportion.
Step # 5: Substitute more realistic thoughts.
These more rational responses to the above situation could be; “She might not have seen me,” “Some times she can be a snob but not always” and “I really do have friends even if she doesn’t want to be my friend any more.”
Step # 6: After you have completed the above five steps evaluate how you now feel.
If you would like to explore these ideas more fully, pick up one of Dr. Burn’s books or visit his website at: www.feelinggood.com.
Without optimism, progress is unlikely, yet pessimism also has a role in getting us to look at other aspects of the situation. Learning to rationally balance these two viewpoints in your own life can help you find much greater joy and success. By choosing your thoughts, you choose, to a great degree, how you experience life.